We all
experience that vague, nagging sense of lack. It’s the feeling that something is missing, though we don’t know what
that something is. So we try to fill the
void with accomplishments, lovers, possessions, alcohol, religion, food, volunteer
work, or what have you. They might bring
temporary satisfaction, but ultimately the emptiness returns. So, what is it that we are really missing?
Beingness. The quiet, ineffable state of simply being. We’ve all experienced it, while
either engrossed in an activity or relaxing with no thoughts. At these times nothing else is necessary; we
are whole, satisfied, and blissful.
But we often
lose our beingness. We get hurt or
distracted by people or things. We react
with anger, fear, desire, or resentment. We no longer feel content to just be; now we feel the need to attain
something, whether it be an experience, a possession, an accomplishment,
praise, or love. We are in a state of
lack, of not-enough. Even if we do
attain our goal, the satisfaction won’t last for very long because the thought
that we are not-enough remains. No
matter how much we attain, we cannot be satisfied because what we need is not
external acquisitions but the feeling of completeness. This can be experienced only as being, not as
having.
Why is it
possible to lose our beingness? Because
it is constantly with us. We get so used
to it that we lose awareness of it. It’s
just like breathing: since we do it constantly, we are not aware of it. Our beingness is thus unconscious, so we live
unconsciously. Unconsciousness is what
allows us to be distracted and reactive. With no sense of beingness, we feel like nothing, and so we look outside
ourselves for a sense of fulfillment, of being alive.
How can we
remain aware of our beingness? By dropping
our ego. The ego is what causes us to compare
ourselves to others, worry about our future, regret our past, think of ways to
manipulate things for our own benefit, resent or criticize others, and inflate
ourselves with self-importance. These
thought patterns take us out of being and thrust us into the stressful world of
mental constructs. These constructs
cause fear and anger because we are afraid that they will be shown to be false
(which they are). Without the ego’s
shenanigans, we can simply be.
