The need to
be liked stems from the ego. It is insecure and fearful, and needs others to
like it in order to assuage its negative feelings. It worries that it isn’t attractive,
smart, or likeable enough, so it acts or dresses in ways that it believes will
garner others’ acceptance.
But even
when others accept it, it remains insecure. Why? Because it knows that the ones
who accept it are other egos, not true selves. Egos are by their very nature
judgmental and negative. Their default mode is to reject others for being
different. Acceptance must therefore be earned via actions, words, or
appearance. That acceptance is never secure, because as soon as someone says or
does something that egos deem unacceptable, they will reject him/her. Each of
us is aware that we are interacting with other egos, not true selves, so we
know that our “acceptance” can be taken away at any time. This cannot do
anything but add to our insecurity.
The true
self is the opposite of the ego. It always loves and accepts other true selves.
Even when it is confronted with an ego, it looks past that ego and tries to
find the true self behind it. If everyone were to drop their ego, then everyone
would love and accept everyone all the time, so there would be no need for
fear, insecurity, or putting on an act in an attempt to gain acceptance.
